Campfire Reflection > Cindy

--the medieval moonlight

This year, the campfire was great. Although it was sort of a rush last minute. My patrol was in charge of the gateway. We did not do finish the banner as there was not enough time. I admit that i did not even put in 80% of my effort.The feeling that when i know that a campfire was coming was not tense enough for me. I felt that i was not anxious for the campfire. It was only that when everything was put up nicely then i felt that the real thing was coming. I could tell that only a few people were enthusiastic for it only as they were always in a rush to get things done. I do not know why i was and why i should be half dead at that time.Even when the mdms shouted to speed up on tasks, i gave 1% more to what i was doing. Maybe that i was numb. Something just told me not to care. Then i was thinking about what huixin mdm said so i tried changing my attitude.At the day before and on the campfire, i decided to do what i can do, although most of the things were almost done. I was thinking that what icould do was at most tighten the gateway thing last minute. It was not of much help i guess. I got a blister at my thumb. I ask myself, was it worth getting that blister?

At the campfire night, i enjoyed myself a lot, but i was not really happy. I was guilty. That the fun i had now was actually the hard work of the many people who had contributed a lot more than me to the campfire. I was actually having part of their fun. This is a selfish thing, i thought. Its like i did not help to bake a cake, now that it is being baked, i actually had a share.
About the dance..i missed out three steps for my dance, maybe because me and yunjie were dancing in front of the VIPs. Before our item, i was very scared that i would have an empty mind when dancing halfway, like last year.

Cindy
Mynah 1st